Gimp clown Tutorial

I had a little satori last night, as I stared up at the ceiling, trying not to interrupt the gentle snoring of my bride.  Insomnia is what happens when they take away the thing you love the most in life, the thing that defines you.  I don't know what that thing is for you, but for me, as you may know, that thing is pipe hitting.  Man, I fucking loved hitting pipes.  Over and over.  And over.  And over.

But as you also know, that part of my life is over.

Thus the introspection.  And the travel.  And the talks I give to the kids at Yale.  And the satori.  Speaking of which satori, it is the purpose of this blog post.  Which is that I realized I've spent too much of my adult life as a generalist, rather than a specialist, and to die a complete man I must learn what it is to become a specialist.  Or at least learn something special.  Something that I can become awesome at, and then teach people later, so that they can follow my path toward zen-pipe-hitting awesomeness.  So I downloaded some open source software called GIMP, and learned how to use that shit to beclown someone who has pissed not just on my MRE, but in the MRE's of every pipe hitter I ever had the tremendous privilege of commanding.

And so, et voila, my pipe hitting stallions.  Please click the image below:

Rangers Lead the Way

-- Stan

Vlad Putin is my bitch

Some of you have emailed, asking, "Hola, General Stanley McChrystal, how come you haven't been posting to your eponymous weblog as much as I wish you would?"  The answer is that I've been busy doing some very stealthy an d pro-American shit that I cannot talk about.  I can, however, post this link to an Atlantic piece, which is now in the public domain.  Or at least not in violation of OpSec.  Open up this picture and look for the Ranger Tab.  Congratulations, Vlad:  You are the 75th Ranger Regiment's new bitch.

Rangers Lead the Way,

-- Stan

Happy Wolf Mothers Day

Sure, it was a little different, being raised by wolves, but you somehow made it all work out.  You taught me how to kill.  How to drink Bud Light Lime with the underside of my tongue.  Not to eat my own poop.  How to lead, and how to love.  I owe you everything, Mom.  And happy Wolfmother's Day.

Rangers Lead The Way

-- Stan

I've been giddy these last few days.  It's almost as if Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Halloween were combined into this big burrito of Stantastic news, Sunday night, that the finely tuned killing machine known as SOCOM has earned its pay.  So giddy I couldn't even sleep last night.  So I thought I'd write some haikus.

An apple a day
Is like
A bullet in the brain. 

Speak softly but
Be ready to
Put a bullet in the brain 

A bullet in the brain
Is worth
Two in the bush. 

Don't count
Your chickens
Until there's a bullet in the brain. 

One bullet in the brain for man,
One giant leap forward
For mankind.

Snap-Crackle-Pop,
Bullet
In the brain. 

Two in the brain
Motherfucker
Is out of the game 

Do unto others
With a bullet
In the brain

Rangers Lead The Way

-- Stan

You Wanna Play Fuckaround Fuckaround?

You wanna play fuckaround fuckaround?  Pretty soon, you ain't gonna be around.

Rangers Lead The Way

-- Stan

So Donald Trump Left a voicemail

And he’s all, "Hey, man, heard you were teaching at Yale now, and was wondering, do you think you can get Ivanka into business school down there? Because she got rejected at Harvard, and I'm thinking it's because she's not black."

As some of you may have guessed

As some of you may have guessed, I don't always vote Republican.  But I wouldn't buy a ham sandwich from this fucker: