Vlad Putin is my bitch

Some of you have emailed, asking, "Hola, General Stanley McChrystal, how come you haven't been posting to your eponymous weblog as much as I wish you would?"  The answer is that I've been busy doing some very stealthy an d pro-American shit that I cannot talk about.  I can, however, post this link to an Atlantic piece, which is now in the public domain.  Or at least not in violation of OpSec.  Open up this picture and look for the Ranger Tab.  Congratulations, Vlad:  You are the 75th Ranger Regiment's new bitch.

Rangers Lead the Way,

-- Stan

Happy Wolf Mothers Day

Sure, it was a little different, being raised by wolves, but you somehow made it all work out.  You taught me how to kill.  How to drink Bud Light Lime with the underside of my tongue.  Not to eat my own poop.  How to lead, and how to love.  I owe you everything, Mom.  And happy Wolfmother's Day.

Rangers Lead The Way

-- Stan

I've been giddy these last few days.  It's almost as if Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Halloween were combined into this big burrito of Stantastic news, Sunday night, that the finely tuned killing machine known as SOCOM has earned its pay.  So giddy I couldn't even sleep last night.  So I thought I'd write some haikus.

An apple a day
Is like
A bullet in the brain. 

Speak softly but
Be ready to
Put a bullet in the brain 

A bullet in the brain
Is worth
Two in the bush. 

Don't count
Your chickens
Until there's a bullet in the brain. 

One bullet in the brain for man,
One giant leap forward
For mankind.

Snap-Crackle-Pop,
Bullet
In the brain. 

Two in the brain
Motherfucker
Is out of the game 

Do unto others
With a bullet
In the brain

Rangers Lead The Way

-- Stan

You Wanna Play Fuckaround Fuckaround?

You wanna play fuckaround fuckaround?  Pretty soon, you ain't gonna be around.

Rangers Lead The Way

-- Stan

So Donald Trump Left a voicemail

And he’s all, "Hey, man, heard you were teaching at Yale now, and was wondering, do you think you can get Ivanka into business school down there? Because she got rejected at Harvard, and I'm thinking it's because she's not black."

As some of you may have guessed

As some of you may have guessed, I don't always vote Republican.  But I wouldn't buy a ham sandwich from this fucker:

The Best Ranger Competition 2011

If it's one thing I know about, it's introspection.  That's because I only sleep 2 hours a day and spend those other six that normal people spend sleeping, on introspection.  Or dreaming of hunting, I guess.  But introspection consumes a huge chunk of that time.  And as you may guess, after a lot of introspection, one cannot help but be honest with oneself.  And so it follows that if it's one other thing I know in addition to introspection -- and leadership and how to eat oat brains -- it's this:  Honesty.  And I have this to say about honesty and the Best Ranger Competition:  If the Ranger Committee is honest with itself, it should immediately re-title its contest: "The Best Ranger Next To Stanley McChrystal Competition".

Seriously, for those of you students taking my class at Whale University, you need to know one thing about Best Ranger: It is the shit.  There is a ZERO clown quotient at the BRC with high quality training which always involves misery and pain and Jesus and no broads and no people from the fucking State Department.  Next to OTC, this is the biggest gut check in the fucking world.  That's right.  The.  Fucking. World.  And those of you who know me well know that I do not go all Shatner with my punctuation lightly.

So pass me a Bud Light Lime, and let the suckfest begin.

Rangers Lead The Way

-- Stan